Picture this: You’re on a date with a woman you’ve been eyeing for weeks. You’ve hyped yourself up, rehearsed your lines, and even Googled “what to talk about on a first date.” Then it happens…
You run out of things to say.
She’s looking at you, expecting the conversation to keep flowing, but your mind is blank. You mutter something about your favorite football team, and she barely nods. The date feels awkward, and before you know it, you’re in the “Let’s just be friends” zone.
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. But here’s the thing: Good conversation on a date isn’t just about what you talk about—it’s also about how you say it.
Let me break it down for you.
The HOW of Great Conversation
Most guys think women care about the topic of conversation. And while that’s partly true, the REAL magic lies in howyou talk.
Here’s what you need to focus on:
- Body Language
Sit confidently. Relax your shoulders, don’t fidget, and lean back slightly. You want to exude calm, not desperation. - Eye Contact
Look at her—not in a creepy, wide-eyed way, but in a way that says, “I’m confident, and I’m enjoying this.” - Cocky & Funny
Sprinkle humor into the conversation, but don’t try too hard to be a comedian. Tease her playfully, like saying, “Is this your ‘serious thinking face,’ or are you trying to intimidate me?” - Flirting
Drop subtle compliments. Say something like, “I can tell you get away with murder with those eyes.” Make her laugh while hinting at attraction. - Direct the Conversation
Don’t let the chat meander into dull topics like how terrible Lagos traffic is. Keep it fun, light, and engaging.
Master the HOW, and even the simplest topics will become interesting.
The WHAT of Great Conversation
Now let’s talk about what to actually SAY. Women are naturally drawn to certain topics, so let’s use that to your advantage.
Think about it—what do women pay attention to? Romance novels, gossip shows, celebrity drama, and hilarious memes.
Here are a few topics guaranteed to make her lean in and laugh:
1. Play Psychologist to Celebrities
“Can we talk about how Burna Boy always seems to be beefing with someone? Maybe it’s a PR strategy to stay relevant.”
Analyze the drama like you’re a Naija psychologist, and watch her get hooked.
2. Spy on the Room
If you’re at a restaurant or café, pick a couple nearby and create funny backstories for them.
“See that guy over there? I bet he’s been rehearsing how to propose for weeks, but she’s just here for the free jollof.”
It’s playful, observational, and shows you’re not taking life too seriously.
3. Roast Famous People
“Why does Davido always sound like he’s halfway through a sprint when he’s performing live?”
Making fun of public figures is a great way to inject humor without offending anyone at the table.
4. Talk About Love Lives (Not Yours)
Bring up ridiculous love stories you’ve heard, then add your funny theories.
“I once heard of a guy who proposed with a yam tuber because the girl said she wanted something useful. Maybe that’s true love in disguise.”
Keep it funny and lighthearted.
Topics to Avoid
While it’s great to keep the conversation lively, there are some topics you should NEVER touch—especially on a first date.
- Death, Crime, or Politics
This isn’t the time to rant about bad governance or crime rates. Keep the vibe light. - Your Ex or Your Dating Struggles
Nothing screams “desperate” louder than saying, “It’s been so long since I went on a proper date.” - Geeky Obsessions
Unless she’s into comic books, don’t go on a 20-minute rant about why “Star Wars” is better than “Star Trek.”
Pro Tips to Keep the Vibes Right
- Stay Confident: Even if the topic goes flat, keep your cool. Awkwardness only becomes a problem when YOU make it one.
- Listen: Don’t dominate the conversation. Ask her questions and genuinely listen to her answers.
- Make Her Laugh: Humor is the universal language of attraction. If she’s laughing, you’re winning.
Final Thoughts
Great conversations on a date aren’t about impressing her with your knowledge or being super romantic from the get-go. It’s about keeping things fun, playful, and unpredictable.
So next time you’re on a date, remember: How you talk is just as important as what you talk about.
Now go ahead and try these tips. And if you really want to level up your game, check out my guide, “The Advanced Bang Rule.
