Let’s talk about it—rejection.
Nobody likes it. In fact, most guys would rather walk barefoot through Lagos traffic than risk hearing “Sorry, I’m not interested.”
But here’s the thing: rejection isn’t the monster you think it is. It’s not as scary as your mind makes it out to be. And with the right mindset (and a little humor), you can handle it like a pro. So, let’s dive into how to deal with rejection, why it happens, and—most importantly—how to avoid it entirely.
Why Does Rejection Feel So Bad?
Picture this: you’re at a wedding, decked out in your finest agbada. You’ve been eyeing this gorgeous woman at the small chops table. You tell yourself, “I’ll go talk to her in a minute,” but the longer you wait, the harder it gets. Your heart’s racing, your palms are sweaty, and before you know it, you’ve convinced yourself to stay put.
Why does this happen?
It’s because your brain LOVES to imagine the worst-case scenario. You think she’ll roll her eyes, call you out in front of everyone, and somehow ruin your entire reputation. But guess what? That’s almost never the case.
The Truth About Rejection
Most of the time, women aren’t even “rejecting” you—they’re just not interested, and that’s okay!
At worst, she might say, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend,” or “I’m not interested.” That’s it. No drama, no public humiliation.
The reality is, women are usually polite. They’re not out here trying to crush your confidence. So, let’s stop giving rejection more power than it deserves, okay?
Why Women Say No
Now, if rejection happens, there are a few common reasons:
- You Came on Too Strong
If you approach a woman and say something like, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen; can I marry you?” you’re probably coming on a bit too heavy. - You Didn’t Read the Room
Maybe she’s busy or having a bad day. Timing is everything, my guy. - Your Approach Felt Off
Your body language matters. If you walk up to her slouched, mumbling, or looking nervous, it sends the wrong vibe.
How to Overcome Fear of Rejection
Let’s flip the script. Instead of fearing rejection, let’s focus on how to handle it like a boss:
1. Change Your Perspective
Rejection isn’t personal. Maybe she’s not in the mood, or maybe you’re not her type. That’s fine! It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
2. Start Small
If you’re nervous, practice talking to women in casual settings. Compliment a cashier at the supermarket or joke with a vendor at the market. Build your confidence one step at a time.
3. Have a Default Opener
Don’t overthink your approach. Have a go-to line ready, like:
“Hi, I noticed your smile from across the room. What’s your secret?”
It’s simple, lighthearted, and easy to deliver.
How to Avoid Rejection in the First Place
Here’s the fun part: there are ways to minimize your chances of being turned down.
1. Confidence Is King
Women notice confidence. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly. If you look like you believe in yourself, she’ll be more open to hearing what you have to say.
2. Start Light
Instead of jumping straight to “Can I get your number?” ease into the conversation. Say something like, “The party’s nice, but you look like you’re having the most fun here.”
3. Know When to Walk Away
Not every woman will be interested, and that’s okay. If she’s giving short answers or not engaging, politely wrap it up and move on.
Real Talk: Practice Makes Perfect
The more you put yourself out there, the better you’ll get at reading situations and handling conversations. You’ll also realize that rejection isn’t as bad as you thought.
And hey, even if it doesn’t go your way, you’ll have a story to laugh about later with your guys over suya and drinks.
The Bottom Line
Rejection is just part of the game. Don’t take it personally, don’t overthink it, and definitely don’t let it stop you from shooting your shot.
I spent years figuring all this out—trial, error, and lots of mistakes. But I’ve taken everything I’ve learned and put it into my eBook, Advanced Bang Rule .
It’s full of simple, practical tips that show you exactly how to reprogram your mindset, build confidence, and attract the kinds of women you want in your life.
If you’re tired of guessing and want to start seeing results, this is the best place to begin.
